TO MOTHERS
IT is said that a certain celebrated artist had already spent two whole years in painting a scene; but being dissatisfied, destroyed the labor of so many months and was making another attempt, when a friend interrogated him as to the cause of his thus spending so much of his time. His reply was, “I paint for immortality.” Every individual now living, is doing work for enterprise; but a mother, to whom is committed the training of a mortal immortal, is emphatically painting for immortality.
Hers is the hand that is delineating features on a canvass which will retain its characters “far into the other world.” It is this consideration that gives its momentous importance to that question, so often asked with such solicitude, by the anxious mother, “what influences among those I can bring to bear upon my child, will be the most lasting and productive of the greatest good ?“
Who among the children of men require so much wisdom as the mother of a family! The statesman requires wisdom that he may so advise or direct as to secure the happiness or prosperity of the nation but should one statesman act unwisely, another may step in and repair the evil, and so his country may be saved from impending ruin. The merchant needs wisdom and skill, and foresight and tact, that he may guide his affairs with discretion; but should his plans be all frustrated, an riches make themselves wings and fly away at one period of his life, lie may have them returned at another, so that at the close of his life he may leave his family in ease and comfort. The farmer needs wisdom in cultivating his land and arranging his stock, so as to bring him the best return for his labor and toil; but should he fail one year to realize his hopes, the next may make up the deficiency. The navigator needs wisdom to guide his frail bark over the trackless deep, so that he may escape the rocks and quicksands, and whirlpools which may lie in his way; but should he be unfortunate, become a wreck, he has a chance of being saved by holding on to the rigging or escaping in his boat, and in this pitiful situation may find timely help from another voyager. But the MOTHER! if SHE makes a mistake in her mighty work, the probability is that it will be fatal. Her little bark which has just been launched upon the ocean of life, will find many rocks and quicksands, and whirlpools in its way; she, the mother, is to be the pilot for the most important part of the voyage, and if she fails to guide it aright, dreadful will be the wreck when it dashes over the precipice of time into the abyss of eternity. There will be no kind hand to help, no returning season to repair the injury; the work is done, and done badly; and eternity will echo and reecho the dreadful tale of a child lost through its mother’s neglect
Napoleon once asked a lady what France needed for the education of her youth and the short profound reply was, “Mothers!”
The first book read, and the last book laid aside by every child, is the conduct of its mother.
1. First give yourself, then your child, to God. It is but giving him his own.
2. Always prefer virtue to wealth—the honor that comes from God to the honor that comes from men. Do this for yourself, do it for your child.
3. Let your whole course be to raise your child to a high standard. Do not sink into childishness yourself.
4. Give not needless commands, but when you command, require prompt obedience.
5. Never indulge a child in cruelty, even to an insect.
6. Cultivate sympathy with your child in all lawful joys and sorrows.
7. Be sure that you never correct a child until you know it deserves correction. Hear it first and fully.
8. The knowledge and fear of the Lord are the beginning of wisdom.
9. Never mortify the feelings of your child by upbraiding it with dullness; but do not inspire it with self
10. Pray with and for your child, often and heartily.
11. Encourage all attempts at self-improvement.
12. Never deceive nor break a promise to a child.
It was a judicious resolution of a father, being asked what he in tended to do with his girls, he replied: I intend to apprentice them to their excellent mother, that they may learn the art of improving time, and be fitted to become wives, mothers, and heads of families, and useful members of society.
Young women, and particularly those brought up in luxury and indolence, are too apt to consider domestic concerns beneath their notice. This is a great mistake. Women should from their infancy be accustomed to have the direction of some department in their father’s house; they should keep the accounts, learn to purchase the various articles used in housekeeping, and know how each may be employed to most advantage: meanwhile care must be taken that economy degenerate not into avarice, explain the folly of this passion, remind them that it increases with age, that it is very disgraceful, and that a prudent woman should only endeavor by a frugal and diligent life to avoid the shame attached to prodigality and extravagance. It is necessary to curtail all useless expenses in order to be more liberal in acts of benevolence, charity, and friendship. Frequently that which costs most at first, is ultimately cheapest, and it is a general good management not a mean parsimony, that is truly profitable. Do not fail to represent the folly of those women, who eagerly save a wax candle, while they suffer themselves to be cheated in objects of importance. Teach your daughters to pay great attention to neatness and regularity, and accustom them not to suffer anything dirty or slatternly about their persons or in their houses. Tell them nothing contributes so much to economy as keeping everything in its proper place: this rule, though apparently trifling, is highly important, and should be strictly observed. When your daughters first begin to attend domestic concerns, let them commit some errors, as it is well to sacrifice something to improvement; point out what they should have done to avoid these inconveniences, and teach them what you have yourself learned by experience. Be not afraid to tell them of similar mistake you committed while young, for by these means you will inspire them with confidence in themselves, and without which they will never do anything well.
I know some houses, well built and handsomely furnished, where it is not pleasant to be even a visitor. Sharp, angry tones resound through them from morning till night, and the influence is as contagious as measles, and much more to be dreaded in a household. The children catch it and it lasts for life an incurable disease. Where mother sets the example you will scarcely hear a pleasant word among the children in their plays with each other. Yet the discipline of such a family is always weak and irregular. The children expect just so much scolding before they do anything they are bidden, while many a home where the low, firm tone of the mother, or a decided look of her steady eye is law, never think of disobedience, either in or out of her sight. O mothers, it is worth a great deal to cultivate that “excellent thing in woman,” a low, sweet voice. If you are ever so much tired by the mischievous or willful pranks of the little ones, speak low. It will be a great help to you even to try to be patient and cheerful, if you cannot wholly succeed. Anger makes you wretched and your children also. Impatient, angry tones never did the heart good, but plenty of evil. Read what Solomon says of them, and remember he wrote with an inspired pen. You cannot have the excuse for them that they lighten your burdens any—they make them only ten times heavier. For your own as well as your children’s sake, learn to speak low. They will remember that tone when your head is under the willows. So too, would they remember a harsh and angry voice. Which legacy will you leave to your children?
How many mothers are there in the world who have one manner of speaking at home, and another when out in society? Can the be a more touching rebuke than that uttered by the little girl below? She, like all children, was a close observer of her parent’s conduct. A lady who was in the habit of visiting the poor for benevolent purposes, took her little daughter with her. The child saw, heard, and was interested. But there was something which the child could not exactly make out. So on the road home she said: “Mamma, when you are out visiting the poor you always talk about Jesus Christ to them, and you don’t talk of him when you are at home.”
“Walk in, Mrs. Sloane,” said a mother, as she ushered a visitor into the family room, where her three daughters were seated. “It seems an age since you were here. You have quite neglected us. I really felt unhappy about it, and wondered what kept you away so long.” And so the lady ran on, enlarging upon her happiness at seeing her friend once more. The lady was pleased with this appreciation of her society, and after a pleasant call of a reasonable length prepared to go. Then followed an urgent request that she would sit longer, succeeded by a pressing invitation to call again. The acquaintance passed on down the street, and the mother turned to the three young ladies, as she resumed the work which had been laid aside for the caller, with the pettish remark, “I wonder how people find so much time to run around the streets and trouble their neighbors.” This mother was a professing Christian, and but a short time before had expressed her deep concern to her pastor for the souls of her daughters. “I talk with them, and pray and labor for their conversion, but it all seems to do no good.” Alas! could they possibly have confidence in a religion which was thus represented? Would not that mother’s insincerity make a deeper impression of their hearts than all her precepts? Remember, mother, there are sharp eyes watching you every hour. “There’s a chief among them that takes notes,” when you least suspect it. You may sometimes “get on the blind side” of older people, but seldom on that of keen, honest-hearted children. And 0 what fatal consequences may result from your inconsistency, with your high profession as Christian mothers When once a child loses faith in mother, one of the great anchor-cables of his life is severed, and fearful indeed may be the shipwreck. Be what you seem, mother, to all the world, if you would have your children believe in your truth. No authority can command their respect for a hypocritical mother. They will in heart despise her character, though a mere natural affection which they share in common with the lower orders of animal life may bind their hearts to her. Still it is weak as a spider’s web, com pared with the might of that mother’s influence who can command the unsullied love and perfect confidence of her children.
If you wish to cultivate a gossiping, meddling, censorious spirit in your children, be sure when they come home from church, a visit, or any other place where you do not accompany them, to ply them with questions concerning what everybody wore, how everybody looked, and what everybody said and did—and if you find anything in all this to censure, always do it in their hearing. You may rest assured, if you pursue a course of this kind, they will not return to you unladen with intelligence; arid, rather than it should be uninteresting, they will by degrees learn to embellish in such a manner as shall not fail to call forth remarks and expressions of wonder from you. You will, by this course, render the spirit of curiosity—which is so early visible in children, and which, if rightly directed, may be made the instrument of enriching and enlarging their minds—a vehicle of mischief, which shall serve only to narrow them.
By the quiet fireside of home, the true mother, in the midst for her children, is sowing, as in vases of earth, the seeds of plants that shall sometime give to Heaven the fragrance of their blossoms, and whose fruit will be a rosary of angelic deeds—the noblest offering that she can make through the ever-ascending and ever-expanding souls of her children to her Maker. Every word that she utters goes from heart to heart with a power of which she little dreams. Solemn is the thought, but not more solemn to the Christian mother than the thought that every word that falls from her lips, every expression of her countenance, even in the sheltered walk, and retirement, may leave an in delible impression upon the young souls around her, and form, as it were, the underlying strata of that education which peoples Heaven with celestial beings, and gives to the white brow of the angel, next to the grace of God, its crown of glory.